The Auto Auction Group

Being not married in the world where you find relationships in each and every bar and club can be a horrible feeling. I personally know of 2 not married friends who go on dates every month and each month they are depressed because they are still without a partner. In London there are a big collection of incredible escorts, these wonderful call girls are the perfect offering to give to yourself if you are not with someone.

Escorts in the capital city of the UK are beautiful and delightful and have a high education making them fine companions as well as spectacular lovers. The call girls in London are oftentimes more costly than anyplace else like Leeds, the reason for this is the escorts tend to be of an improved class.

Escorts have been made popular with the television show Secret Diary with the lovely Billie Piper. In the tv series the escort is made out to be glamorous and very rich and always looking delightful. The show is a top rated series in the United Kingdom and many boys have seen it and have now booked an escort. This has helped to fuel the rise in single men feeling much happier and better about the choice a single lad has in London. You can always have a great night in with a London Escort.

You have permission to publish this article in its entirety, electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as Robert Leggett’s byline is included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

ARTICLE WORD COUNT: [794]

Copyright 2005 – by Robert Leggett – All rights reserved

* * * * * * *

You have a choice. Do you want to be constructive and positive in a unique way? Or do you want to be destructive and negative in a unique way? History has proven the futility of the latter goal. So let’s focus on your unique capacity to better yourself and those around you.

In western music there are 12 notes per each octave on the keyboard. Only 12 notes. From these simple 12 notes come the various musical works of Mozart, Brahms, Rossini, Beethoven, Donizetti, Bach, Strauss, Wagner, Puccini, Verde, Gershwin, Gilbert & Sullivan, Rogers & Hammerstein. The Beetles, Merle Haggard, Marti Robbins, Louis Armstrong, Elvis, Aretha Franklin, Little Richard, Pointer Sisters and countless other unique performers, composers, and musical forms. What a variety from 12 basic notes!

As a growing copywriter and Cyberspace Marketeer, I often seek new ideas and ways of doing stuff.. But before this process can happen, I have to “pay my dues.” I do this through research over the Internet. I get out and socialize, during work time and play time. Only afterwards am I able to discover and lay out creative, unique solutions.

When I am given a set of parameters, I must intensely focus upon these, and then forget about them. Within a week a unique idea “pops” into my consciousness. Several weeks ago, I was consulting with a new client. He had “Hummingbirds” as part of his logo. He needed a slogan. He is in the restaurant trade. How can I tie the concept of “hummingbirds” in with food service? Over time we discovered “Every Bite – Hummingbird Light” Now he has a powerful slogan. We created a good headline featuring his current offering. We listed bulleted benefits (yes, a tiny hummingbird was used as each bullet). And a great slogan. His publicity pulls very well. He is unique in a positive way.

Logo. This is usually a unique graphic. Sometimes it can be a simple choice of font face, relative sizes, and placement. But a “killer” graphic logo is best. The logo reflects your whole, unique business philosophy and image. It has to be so crystal clear the public recognizes it instantly. The Colonel’s bucket. The golden Arches. CocaCola Bottle. No words are needed. Never Copy. You may Modify. Create New is best. Focus on this task. Then let it go. You might “dream” the solution. Perfect your own unique logo.

Headline. Vital to keeping interest of your target market. Going further with the above “Hummingbirds” copy we told basically what it was, “Sunday Evening Roast.” Then, right below that line, we “painted a picture”
“Imagine yourself dining with your special someone on a secluded terrace. Your cozy wooden table and chair – your temporary sanctuary from a hard plastic world. Your candle gently flickers with each passing breeze. You are enjoying the intimate lightness of Hummingbirds’ unparalleled Sunday Roast.”
Needs a little fine tuning – but it works.

Bulleted Benefits. Continuing down
Sumptuous Starter-dishes
Mouth-Watering Main Course-dishes
Seductive Desert-Your choice
Free Glass of Red, Rosé, White
(Enjoy wines a step beyond – We taste and recommend)

Slogan (modified) follows.
“Your Traditional British Roast -
Every Bite – Hummingbird Light”

After that comes phone number, location, directions etc.

However, at the last minute we decided to add in this area.
“Twiggy” 2-Course (price)
“Henry VIII” 3-Course (price)

Our target market was the British couple or foursome looking for a great Sunday Evening Roast.

Over the years I have collected aids and studied various areas of marketing. Long ago I got copy of active verbs. Recently I got list of “Hypnotic Words” and successful headlines used over the years. Also a list how different colors effect emotions. These are all great references when I am stumped or want to make my copy even better. Some of the “greats” which come to mind are Claude Hopkins, Jay Abraham, Ted Nicholas. Actually, some of the best ideas can be found on current Internet sales letters. Occasionally I find the rare good headline in SPAM sent me. Yes, I even study some SPAM.

I have discovered my target market. They need my copywriting skills…the undercapitalized, open-minded, serious entrepreneur. Nobody in my immediate vicinity practices principles of good copywriting. I am unique. I am creative. My clients are unique. They seek creative solutions. They are fun to work with. Our creative ideas keep amplifying each other’s.

No matter what profession(s) you are into at this time, develop your uniqueness, discover your creativity, dream your solutions. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. By the way, I had no idea what I would write about this month. I kept thinking and thinking. Then “pop” – here it is. Now to polish it up 24 hours from now. 828 words now and finally edited down to 794.
Robert Leggett serves individuals and business owners globally. He helps them grow their business and enrich their lifestyles.

Article Archives: (http://www.CyberspaceMarketeer.com)
Products & Services: (http://www.EarnYourLiving.com)

Whether creating a poem, a short story, a book, you have to have a clear plan of what you want to create. So it is with whatever we want to create in life. Some of you want specific things, a house, a new car, financial expansion. I read an article lately that said in twenty different countries that the author ask what they wanted the most in life they wanted a million dollars or its equivalant in their coin.
Why do we want a million dollars what does it represent in our lives.

I think it really represents different things to different people. When I ask myself why I wanted to be wealthy, it was because it would give me more freedom, more time, time to be creative. What I realized that if I concentrated on the security I wanted, the time, I wanted,
the peace of mind, that was much easier to create than a million dollars.
The next step I discovered after I knew what I really wanted was to let it go. By that I mean let the how you are going to achieve this
feeling ? Think on how you can create more time, security, freedom, creativity then let go of the outcome.
Write a list of those attributes you want that you already have in your life. For example where do I have freedom in my life. Well I live in a country that has more freedom than any other country in the world.
I am free to think what I will and even say it as long as I do it in an orderly fashion. Nobody thinks in my head but me. I have the freedom to think positively or negatively. Do I have time in my life and the freedom to use it as I like. Yes I have the same twenty-four hours as everyone else only I choose to work a lot so I am making a choice not to have more time to create. Where do I have time to create. I create every time I put out an ezine and write an article, which is daily. Where do I have security in my life? I own a home or I am buying it.
I feel secure in my home. I have work I enjoy it is not the life purpose I hope to create but I like my work. My work provides security.
So I have more or less just written a grateful list. Whatever we are grateful for expands. I am really grateful for the list of examples
from my own life that I have just given you. By being grateful and letting go of the stress of trying to create this financial goal I have for a million dollars so I can have these things that I just named
I can just enjoy the fact that I already have them and as I am grateful for them answers will just come on how to have more of the same.
The more I try to create that million dollars so I can have security, freedom, time to create the more illusive it becomes. So to make the law of attraction work in my life I must use the law of detachment.
The law of detachment says nothing is good or bad it just is. When we stay in the now and feel grateful for what we have and enjoy today, this moment, then and only then does what we want come.

About the Author

About the author: Judi Singleton is the publisher of Creative Imagination and you can subscribe at http://www.motherearth.com
You can discuss these ideas at Judi’s forum at http://www.gotojassminesitenow.com/forum. I would love to hear from you and have you share your ideas on creativity.

Investigate to see if the bank who is tending to give you a bank loan is trustworthy. At this moment you can check up on rates quickly and figure if there are possible sneaky traps you should be aware of. 16.3 percent loan rate may appear so fair but will that be the same after you have to repay your loan. Many of the moneylenders wil show you a rate that is looking serious but feels naughtily or so after a while.

Translated it means: Woon je in Schiermonnikoog of Neerijnen en heb je BKR registratie. Lenen met zonder BKR is nergens zo eenvoudig. Koop een nieuw huis met geldleningen met negatieve bkr registratie, 102645 euro is geen probleem om te lenen. Van Raalte tot Tilburg, financieren met zonder BKR gaat hier altijd.

It makes no difference if you live in Methuen Massachusetts or in Greenwood Indiana a estimable online examination will preserve you often lots of disoblige. This is why now you really need to check and jut out if you can have a loan at a honorable percent rate of interest. A merchant bank in Escondido California or so may have a total completely different actual loan rate for a 12500 dollar deferred payment then a moneylender in Bellflower California and that makes a huge clear difference in your monthly costs. You should be shining today to inspect if you have a super deal or if you don’t with the bank that offers you a credit loan.

This article is available for free reprint provided that the author’s bionote is left intact and the article is published complete and unaltered. If you are using this article on a website or e-book, please make sure that the link in the author’s bionote is live or clickable. Email notice of intent to publish is required: bcarrphillips@yahoo.com.

Word Count: 679

Cooking With Annie Dote
by Barbara Carr Phillips

The submission deadline to an anthology is looming and I want to write an essay for it. I take a seat at my kitchen table, and begin flipping through my journals for inspiration.

“What are you looking for,” my husband asks. An innocent enough question.

“An anecdote,” I reply.

“An Annie who?” he says, raising his eyebrows and casting a sideways glance at our teenage son. Our son grins and chuckles softly, knowing his dad likes to tease me about writers and their mysterious words and ways. I should have known.

“Not Annie, anec, an-ec-dote,” I repeat. “Something I can build on to make a story.”

“Uh-huh,” he replies, “like a prescription or something?”

“No, not like a prescription. Well . . . kind of like a prescription, insofar as it relieves the dreaded symptoms resulting from staring at a blank page.”

He and my son sigh in unison and grab a soda from the fridge. Thankfully, I’m saved-by-the-whistle. They disappear into the living room to watch the game, where they will discuss words and ways they can relate to, like “rebound” and “three second rule,” (or is it five seconds? I don’t know.)

What is an anecdote?

An anecdote is a short, entertaining account of an incident. Metaphorically speaking: an anecdote is life. Life that contains laughter and tears, and most importantly, an anecdote is a moment in life worth remembering.

When someone says, “I had a really great day,” it doesn’t mean everything about the day was really great. But a few moments were. A great moment makes an entire day fun. A few shining moments over a period of months can prompt us to say, “this is a great year” even though we’ve encountered losses, sadness, anger and all kinds of other unpleasant circumstances.

A way to identify a good anecdote is to pay attention to another person’s reaction when you are telling them a story. For example, a few months ago I posted a little story on my mom’s group list about a very frustrating but humorous moment I had with my toddler. My e-mail inbox filled up quickly with responses from other moms in the group who could relate to my saga and enjoyed the description of the incident.

“Aha,” I thought, “that writes.”

That evening, I sat down at my computer. I copied the message I posted, added an introduction, a little more background, a couple more related anecdotes and a conclusion. Then I e-mailed it to the editor of an anthology. Less than twenty-four hours later, I received an e-mail response.

At first I was a little worried. I thought a response that speedy could only mean I forgot to attach the manuscript. Or maybe she did receive it, and was promptly rejecting it.

I clicked on the e-mail and was happy to discover I received an acceptance. It’s the first and last time I’ve received such a quick response, but if I hadn’t been perceptive about how enjoyable the little anecdote was, I would have forgotten the incident completely and lost the story.

Keeping a personal journal is also a very effective way to capture your anecdotes until you can get back to them. Find a journal that is small enough to carry in your purse or pocket, and take it with you everywhere.

Record every interesting thing you hear, church sermons, funny things people say, lyrics to songs on the radio. Pretty soon, it will become second nature, and people will begin to peer at you curiously and say, “um, what are you writing in that little book?” They’re worried you’re taking notes about them, of course.

Journals are the writer’s cookbook. We store our delicious morsels of words in them until it’s time to write something nourishing. We may have lots of ideas, but if we don’t record them, they are soon forgotten. Don’t allow your writing to suffer from malnutrition. Take notes about your life!

May God bless you with the right anecdote to cure your blank page. And enough journals to keep you well fed. Happy writing.

About the Author

Barbara Carr Phillips, journaling instructor, believes dreams come true when you journal your way to success. Visit http://www.journalworkshops.net to order your one-to-one journaling workshop or to sign up for her free ezine.

Writing…Blogs…Blogs are on-line journals where people express themselves through writing. Writing…Writing is the process where one puts down words of a language on a format that others can read. This process has not been around very long, to use one of my writing teacher’s favorite sayings, “Writing has only existed for one day in the one year that humanity has existed.” Speaking and thinking come much easier than writing. These processes just flow out naturally like a river of consciousness; sometimes we hardly have to think about doing them. Anyone and everyone can write words down on paper but that doesn’t mean it’s ‘good writing’, myself included. Like most things in life, our society already takes writing for granted which is proving to expose more of our ignorance. Writing is a new form of expression, and if we want to do it in a way that the masses can connect with our ideas, we have to think much more simply and clearly about this art.

Now that was quite a big paragraph, you’ve got to wonder if I really needed to say as much as I just did to introduce this article on the best way to write your blogs on the Web. I didn’t even mention this main idea, and that’s what an introduction paragraph is meant to be for. This is a common mistake in many blogs out there. We try to get too many ideas across in one paragraph, sometimes even in one sentence! The key, as in all things in life-is to keep it simple. Simplicity means that readers won’t get confused about what your journal entry is actually about. Introduce your main general topic at the start, and use the subsequent paragraphs to discuss separate ideas that relate to this topic. Try to tie everything up in the concluding paragraph, your main argument and the reason why you’ve written in the first place.

Grammar and sentence construction are not easy systems to master, especially if you come from a school system that spent more time telling you about historical battles and quadratic equations than on how to read and write. This is a real problem. When we speak we can get messages across to others easily, but if we put these words down on paper, the writing just isn’t interesting and doesn’t connect with people’s curiosities and fascination. When you write you are not talking to a close friend. You can’t use slang and colloquialisms that only your local community can understand. The aim is to connect with all the people in the world, so let’s make it crystal clear and enjoyable to read.

Your computer has spelling and grammar checks, as well as access to a thesaurus. Use them, but remember that the machine can’t decipher all the intricacies of language. Language is a world in itself, and much of its territories are undiscovered by the masses. So, again keep it simple. Short, precise sentences with single ideas are great. Many words in the English language have the same meanings (synonyms). Use the thesaurus so you don’t repeat the same word over and over throughout the text. It keeps the story fresh and doesn’t turn the reader off. There’s nothing more boring than repetition. Using different words can be a lot of fun and a learning experience, just make sure you use a dictionary (also on the computer/Internet) to make absolute sure of the word’s definition.

Readability…Simplicity…Make your blog accessible by all people. You can even take into consideration that many readers will have learned English as a second language. As I’ve said in previous articles, keep to the point-don’t go on tangents. Stick with the article’s topic, and definitely stay within the realms of your blog’s main area. If your blog is entitled “Jazz music”, people who go there don’t want to hear about how your football team won on the weekend! Please be consistent. How irritating is it to visit a blog that hasn’t been written on in months or years?

I hope these little tips will help you on your quest to producing ‘good’ writing that brings new friends and acquaintances of similar outlooks into your world. If you want people to read, the aim is to produce an emotional reaction in your reader. Pretend you are writing to another form of yourself, if it were not readable, interesting and fun…would you stick around?

By Jesse S. Somer

M6.Net http://www.m6.net

Jesse S. Somer is a ‘grasshopper’ writer attempting to inform other beginner writers on how they might one day become masters or ’sensei’s’.

priyankaa@m6.net

Whether you want a fitter body, a calmer mind, a raise at work, or a more prolific writing career, there’s no more popular time than now to make life-changing resolutions. But how do you keep from falling short of your goals at the end of the year? You may want to try Kaizen, the Japanese art of making changes so small they may sound absurd.

The Kaizen concept is concerned with gradual improvement in the processes involved in attaining a particular goal. It’s a slower process than which we are accustomed, but has been shown to make our results longer lasting.

For example, a dieter who wants to lose thirty pounds this year could begin by committing to exercise ten additional minutes a day. Someone who wants to improve his financial situation would do well to commit to saving an extra $10 each week. According to Kaizen, these changes, though relatively small, add up–and because they’re easily attainable, you are much more likely to stick to your goals.

“It is the magic key to getting where you want,” Joanne Mansell, founder of Australia-based Kaizen Coaching, told Writer’s Break. “Kaizen is to your life what compound interest is to your finances.”

Would you like to write a novel’s first draft by next December but have trouble devoting time each day to reaching your goal? Are you intent on selling more articles in 2004? If so, here are a few incremental changes you may want to consider:

- Add ten-minutes of writing time to each day. For example, if you normally write thirty-minutes a day, write for forty. If you write zero presently, write ten.

- Research one new market each week.

- Read half of a writing-related article each day.

- Spend 15 more minutes a week networking.

- Brainstorm article ideas for 5 minutes a day.

- Each day, read two paragraphs from that writing book you just bought.

- Write one additional chapter of your novel-in-progress each week.

- Spend ten minutes a day cleaning your writing area and organizing your files.

You may want to try a few of these, or think of changes that better fit your needs. The idea is to think big but to start small. You’re full of optimism right now and you’re setting big goals, but don’t lose perspective. Your life will become busy and it’s all too easy to place your goals on the backburner where you will not think of them again for days, weeks, or even months. The idea is to begin implementing them now, in small increments.

Once you find these small commitments have become a habit, you may want to implement small increases. Ten minutes may be traded up for fifteen, one chapter may become two. Just remember, little things will add up and morph into bigger things.

Here’s to accomplishing big things in 2004, little by little.

About the Author

Jennifer Minar is a freelance writer in the writing and health & fitness markets. She is also the founder & managing editor of Writer’s Break http://www.writersbreak.com, a web site and ezine for fiction and creative non-fiction writers; and Industry News @-a-Glance, an ezine for the retail pharmacy industry.

Antichrist has no interest or connection to any religion or the occult. He largely worships himself as most megalomaniacs do. He is a political and military genius who is deeply involved with the propagation of his own agenda. That agenda will be the implementation of an entirely new economic system that will sweep the globe. It will be accepted in all quarters of the world and will be geo-politically pervasive. Most of the world will get onboard his new economic ship without flinching. Some nations will be dragged in kicking and screaming, but all will be a part of it. His system will shoot up as himself like a flaming rocket but will last only between three and one half to seven years.

Who is this man and how can we identify him? Here are some gleanings out of the Bible that show us what we should be looking for. It should be noted that a deeply rebellious and secular world will be looking for this man very carefully as well. They on the other hand will see him as everything the world really needs at that moment. Not possible you say? Consider the post World War One people of Germany. They were humiliated, beaten and looking for a leader to pull them not just up, but up and over all the other people of the world; enter Adolph Hitler
Traits, attributes and general personality characteristics of the antichrist

•He has no interest in women in general. Some people believe he may be gay because of this. I believe he has no time for women because he is altogether too busy either wielding power or focusing on himself. Daniel 11:37

•He is vicious and self serving and violently uproots his rivals and political opponents. Daniel 7: 20-24

•He is enamored with himself and the sense of his own self importance. He could easily he considered as the king of megalomaniacs. Daniel 7:lf, Revelation 13: If, 2 Thessalonians 2: 3-4

•He has trouble speaking without blaspheming God, the people of God and anything connected to God. He is a prolific boaster of his own brilliance and self worth. Daniel 7:lf Revelation 13:lf

•He has only disdain for most commonly established civil laws of man, or moral laws of God. He attempts to change most of the rules and ignores the ones he chooses not to regard. He gives new definition to the word recalcitrant. Daniel 7:20-24
Things the antichrist will do during the inaugural or first part of his rise to power.

•He makes a pact with the Jewish people and the apostate church this would be something of a protection agreement. He doesn’t keep the agreement but it looks good to the rest of the world. Daniel 9:27

•He gains the full support of another powerful figure called the false prophet. This man is from an entirely different nation and is probably a political figure or at the least a minister of science. The false prophet does some dazzling tricks and signs, but passes the glory or the respect from those who are awed by his spectacularisms over to the antichrist. The false prophet is singularly his most powerful ally. Revelation 13:11-15

•He is a class act in every way and gains the respect and admiration of the whole world. He draws them through his astounding abilities, his striking appearance and by the help of demon spirits sent throughout the world to win the hearts of his adoring admirers. Revelation 13:3f

•He blocks, or uproots either his rising opponents or those who are already in power. Daniel 7:20-24

The Omen movies and those like it are not accurate except in one way. There will be a final demon driven ruler over the whole world before the return of the Lord Jesus Christ. The Hollywood crowd has never been known for much accuracy in anything and there is little reason to trust them on the subject of Antichrist. It will not be the few in his little inner circle that will adore and blindly obey this last worst dictator but rather it will be almost everyone in the entire world. Those who refuse to follow him will be slaughtered like cattle. But cattle they are not. They are still known as martyrs and their blood is precious to the Lord. Their reward and crown will be far above others in the coming Kingdom.

Rev Bresciani has written many articles over the past thirty years in such periodicals as Guideposts and Catholic Digest. He is the author of two books available on Amazon.com, Alibris, Barnes and Noble and many other places. Rev Bresciani wrote “Hook Line and Sinker or what has Your Church Been Teaching You,” publisher, PublishAmerica of Baltimore MD. He also wrote a book published by Xulon Press entitled “An American Prophet and His Message, Questions and Answers on the Second Coming of Christ.” His book is now being heralded as the clearest book on the subject of the second coming of Christ since Hal Lindsey’s “Late Great Planet Earth” Rev Bresciani’s website is,

http://americanprophet.org

Answers to Biblical questions are rather relative to the background and the perspectives of the one asked the question. There are answers of course. Often, many different answers given to the same questions. Obviously, a priest may answer much differently than a Baptist minister and a Lutheran pastor differently from an Adventist. A closed mind will answer differently from an open one. Many of the answers that one would hear are listed above. These are questions that have no easy answer along denominational lines. These are questions that ask not so much what does the story mean, but rather, why does it contradict what is said over in another gospel? Why is this here and nowhere else? How can this be in our real world of time and space? These are questions that usually leave the minister or priest wishing he had never gone to seminary and was not sitting at his desk with YOU knowing enough about the book to ask the question in the first place.

An apologist will talk of the contradictions in Paul’s conversion accounts as supplemental and not contradictory, but that is what they have to say because the book has to be flawless and perfectly accurate word of God. It would never do to think the accounts are written by people who had human perspectives, made mistakes in transmission of the alleged facts and even a few political reasons for tweeking the story. The usual answer to this inquiry is that Paul did indeed quote Jesus, but even once or in principle is good enough to answer this problem. Or he was preaching Christ crucified and leaving the rest to others. Neither is really a satisfying reason for why the man who gets to write most of the New Testament and inform us all about the reason and meaning of Jesus rarely, if ever, refers to the teachings of the teacher, especially when it would be to his advantage to do so in his writings. Paul could have referred to Jesus and the Lord’s prayer, for example, instead of telling people that the Holy Spirit would groan out their prayers when they didn’t know what to pray. But he didn’t know the Lord’s teaching on how to pray, it seems.

There are more serious answers to these questions as well. Some might be that the story is Midrash or Pesher which are terms that few in the pews and far too often in the pulpit have ever heard. Simply put, it is a way to mine the scriptures of the past for meaning in the present. The author of Matthew was very good at this. It doesn’t mean the proof text was literally pointing to something in the future, but can be used to tell a story in a way that one wants the story to be told and with the meaning it needs to have for the present time. It is what Matthew as doing over and over when he looked back into the Old Testament to find scriptures to tell his and only his story of Jesus. He found scriptures that never meant in reality what he made them to mean, but it was a way to tell his story. Not unlike my using Lord of the Rings to show how Tolkien, in his time, really spoke of the war in Iraq in our time.

Other real answers might admit that there are politics at play here in the text. For example it is easy to see that Paul had no use for the leadership of the Jewish Church in Jerusalem. In Paul’s telling of his story in Galatians 1 and 2 we find a man who learned nothing of his teachings from men. He was called from the womb like Jeremiah, John and Jesus. He got his gospel directly from the risen Christ. After his conversion he went to the wilderness for three years for what he never says. He makes a point of NOT going to Jerusalem to see the Apostles until he was good and ready. He mentions seeing James and Peter for a couple weeks, and then a full 14 years later Paul goes up to see the Peter, James and John, who he labels as men who “seemed to be pillars.” Funny way to describe these Apostles. This is not a man who wanted to hear any teachings or advice from the men who spent a lot of personal time with the earthly Jesus. Jesus for Paul was a cosmic Christ and not a historical figure, it seems. So Paul goes up to see them because he wants to and not because they may have told him to show up. Paul was not a man one told to do anything he didn’t want to do. Paul was a much more distrusted figure among the disciples of Jesus than Luke in Acts would have us believe. But that is another story.

Paul may have felt the same way himself and had Luke tell the story of Annanias and Sapphira in Acts 5 to send the message that Peter was not worthy of leadership. In that story we find Peter pronouncing death upon two church members who said they would give one amount of money to the Church and ended up giving less. Strange way for the man Peter, who said he would never deny Jesus and then did three times, to act. Peter, who promised to do one thing and then did another just as now these two before him had done. Peter pronounces death upon them for not coughing up the shekels when Peter got to be an Apostle after dening he ever knew Jesus. Those who read the story would not miss the irony. This is the story behind the story of Peter punishing with death these two members of the young church for saying one thing and doing another. It was more a political statement against Peter’s duplicity and disqualification in leadership than an event that probably really happened. Politics.

Questions to ask about the Birth Narratives of Jesus.

Question. Pastor…What difference does it make for Matthew and Luke to show us Jesus family connections from Mary and Joseph back to King David and Adam, when God was his real Father? Aren’t geneologies meaningless since Joseph was a stop father, and all coming before him would be step ancestors to Jesus. So Jesus can’t be connected back to King David as the line breaks between Jesus and Joseph. Right?

Question. Pastor… If the Holy Spirit, which I think you said was a person in the Trinity, begot Mary, isn’t the Holy Spirit really Jesus literal father?” Would this not then make God Jesus uncle of sorts, or Jesus his own Father, since they are three in one, coequal and co…oh you understand. This is a mystery isn’t it?

Question. Father… Why do I have to call you Father, when Jesus said to call no man “Father” except his?

Question. Pastor… Matthew 1: 17 says that Jacob was Joseph’s father, but Luke 3:23 says that Heli was Joseph’s father. Was Joseph’s father Jacob Heli Rubinstein or something?

Question. Pastor…Why does it always seem that women in the Bible who give birth to important men, like Elizabeth being John the Baptist’s mom, are always barren and really old. (Luke 1:7). But then, women who give birth to gods are never barren but always pure virgin, and really young like her relative Mary.

Question. Pastor… Why in Luke 1:18-20 does the Angel make the old husband of Elizabeth unable to speak for not believing that he would have a son? Seems like a normal thing not to believe at his age. And yet, in Luke 1: 34 Mary tells the Angel she can’t believe that she will have Jesus the King because she doesn’t even have a husband. At least Zechariah had an old wife. Yet, the angel doesn’t make her mute for not believing him. Do you think the Angel had a quota on how many people a day he could make blind and mute?

Question. Pastor… In the same story, in verse 41, old Elizabeth praises Mary for being the mother of her Lord. How did she find out that Mary was going to give birth to a god? Is that the kind of story you think the family passed on to her prior to Mary coming for a visit? And pastor, do you think it is strange that an old woman who is just now in life having her first son would instinctively praise a young virgin for being pregnant? Just a thought.

Question. Pastor… In that same account in Luke 1:46, “and Mary said, ‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden,’” sound more like something that Elizabeth would say since she was doing all the talking up to that point? And don’t you think it amazing that this bursting into song of Mary is so much the same as the story of Hannah, an old barren woman in I Samuel 1, who gave birth to Samuel? And isn’t it interesting that a razor was not to come on Samuel just like Elizabeth’s baby John? And how about that part where Hanna can’t speak either, just like Elizabeth’s husband Zechariah? Oh and how about when Elizabeth said in verse 18, “Let your maidservant find favor in your eyes.” Wow, sounds a lot like what Mary just said about herself in Luke. Could it be that Luke is using the Hannah story to tell the Mary and Elizabeth story. And could it be that it was really Elizabeth, the old barren woman, still speaking in Luke and not Mary at all about her joy like the old barren Hannah, but someone attributed what Elizabeth was more like to say to Mary? Know what I’m sayin?

Questions. Pastor… See in Luke 1:56 where it says that “and Mary stayed with her about three months,” and then Elizabeth had John in vs. 57? Since the whole chapter is really about Elizabeth and Zechariah, doesn’t it sound like that when it says “Mary stayed with HER” that the “her” is the one who just got done speaking what Mary is said to have said? You know, Elizabeth really and not Mary…really? Editors did stuff like that right?

Question. Pastor… Why do you think that no other Gospel or really anyone in the New Testament ever mentions this story again? Do you think it is here to be sure that everyone understood John was second to Jesus no matter what anyone else might think?

Question. Ok, these birth stories are great, but I have a lot of questions about them. Are you up for this? Great!

Question. Pastor… Since Matthew and Luke read just as well without the birth stories of Jesus, do you think they might have been added much later to the books? I mean really we don’t go to the hospital to see a famous person born and the exciting special birth stories aren’t usually written until after the baby grows up and becomes famous right? Like Yassir Arafat always saying he was born in Jerusalem, because that’s the great place to be born, but in fact he was born in Cairo. Or like politicians who are born somewhere else, but need to be from a certain place to run for office. Just a thought.

Question. Pastor… Why doesn’t Mark know anything about Jesus birth stories?

Question. Pastor… Why , in the Gospel of John , in chapters 7 and 8 is there this big argument of how Jesus is a born of fornication (8:41) and Jesus tells a story about a woman taken in adultery and forgiven (8:1) which lies right between a big argument over knowing that Jesus is from Galilee and not Bethlehem as the scripture says? (7:41) and Jesus exploding and telling them they are all sons of the devil. Wow, seems not everyone knew anything about what Matthew and Luke had to say about Jesus birth!

Question. Pastor… Why does Matthew say that Isaiah 7:14 predicts the Virgin birth of Jesus when the story of Isaiah has absolutely nothing to do with a virgin giving birth to a son that was really God? “Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled, which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, ‘Behold a virgin shall be with child and bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.’” ( Matthew 1:22-23). Isn’t Isaiah talking about a baby born as a sign to Ahab, king of Israel, that some northern invasion back then would not be the end of them? And what’s with that same story in Isaiah saying, that the boy baby would eat butter and honey and BEFORE he knew to refuse the evil and choose the good, the bad guy would be beaten? (Isaiah 7:15-16) Does this mean that Jesus did evil too before he was prophecied to do good? What parts of this are prophecy and what parts are just history that has nothing to do with Jesus? And no one ever called him Emmanuel. They called him Jesus. I can see where the Israelites might call him “God with us,” meaning “God was with us in the defeat of our enemy,” but I can’t see it meant the baby of Isaiah was God in the flesh. Any comments?

Question. Pastor… In Matthew 1:1-4 it says that the Wisemen came asking about where Jesus was because they had seen his star in the East. First of all, if they came from Persia, which is East of Jerusalem, how do you see a literal star in the East and then follow it West where it turns south and stops over a house in Bethlehem? I mean if they saw his star in the East, why go West, why not East? Maybe it’s just me.

Question. Pastor… In the same place it says Herod seems not to know anything about this Jesus or his star. Could he not see it and if he could, could he not follow it himself? Then it says Herod got together all the helpers on such topics and I wonder, could they not see it either?

Question. Pastor… In reading the story of this star, it also says that it reappeared to the Wise men to continue to show them the way. Was this a star that only they could see and could stop and go until the Wisemen were reading to keep moving?

Question. Pastor…How does a moving star, stop over a specific house?

Question. Pastor…While we are at it, how come Matthew tells us Jesus was born in a house that Mary and Joseph seemed to already own in Bethlehem (Matthew 1:11). I thought they lived in Nazareth and came had to have Jesus in a manger in Bethlehem? You know, no room at the Inn and all. Well, at least that is what Luke 2 says where he doesn’t mention the home in Bethlehem, just as Matthew doesn’t mention the worldwide tax that brings Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem to begin with from their home in Nazareth. So which is it…home in Bethlehem as Matthew says, or in Nazareth as Luke says and moving from manger to home won’t cut it.

Question. Pastor…Matthew 1:12-16 says that an Angel warned Joseph to flee to Egypt from Herod who was going to kill all the babies under two years old to get at Jesus. Wow, lots of questions here! Does this mean that in order for Jesus to die for us, the babies in Bethlehem had to die for Jesus?

Question. Pastor…Do you think Mary, being a typical mother left town in a hurry telling her friends, “I know something you don’t know. I wish you and your babies a good Sabbath?” I don’t think mothers really think that way.

Question. Pastor…Matthew 1:17-18 fulfills Rachel weeping for her children in Rama, but from what I can tell, again Matthew is making this up. That story in Jeremiah 31:15 has nothing to do with the women weeping for their dead babies. I believe the Jeremiah story took place during the trek into captivity as they passed through Rama, not Bethlehem. Kinda stretching the point isn’t it?

Question. Pastor…After Herod dies, the family comes back from Egypt and Matthew says this fulfills Hosea 11:1. But I looked at that, and “Out of Egypt I have called my son,” is talking about the exodus story, not Jesus. Is it just me again misunderstanding? How comes Matthew gets to make things mean in the Old Testament what they never meant?

Question. Pastor…In Matthew 1:19-22 an Angel gives the all clear to go back home, to Bethlehem and the house, I assume. But then Joseph finds an even more evil bastard lives there so has another dream to head to Nazareth where it was evidently safer. Did the Angel screw up and send them into harms way and God had to give Joseph a dream to save them from the Angel not knowing what was going on in Judea? Don’t they have briefings for Angels for stuff like this?

Question. Pastor…In Matthew 1:23 we see that Matthew says since they went to Nazareth, there is some place that says this fulfills “He shall be called a Nazarene.” But no one seems to know where the Bible says that. I know it means “branch” such as in Isaiah 11:1, but again, those are not stories or prophecies about Jesus. So isn’t Matthew reaching again? Did Matthew think a Nazarite, was the same as a Nazarene maybe? You know, no razor, no haircuts, no wine. Kinda like Hippie Baptists. But then Jesus wasn’t that way either. Oh well. Any thoughts?

Question. Pastor…How come only Matthew mentions Wisemen, wandering stars, killing the babies and fleeing to Egypt when Luke, in his account, mentions none of this. In fact, Luke just says that after eight days Jesus was calmly, well i don’t know about calmly, circumcised and then Mary did the 40 days of purification after the birth while meeting Simeon and Anna who blessed Jesus in the Temple, and then calmly walked back home to Nazareth. No run for your life from Herod story here, and right where you ‘d expect it. Did Luke never hear about Matthew’s “thus it was fulfilleds,” and simply have the family go back home to Nazareth? Can’t both be true, right?

Question. Pastor…As long as I am at it, can you tell me why the Apostle Paul only knows that Jesus was born of a woman in Galatians 4:4. Nothing special really. Did Paul not know that Jesus, Mary and Joseph had all these wonderful birth adventures? Maybe he didn’t care.

Question. Pastor…I guess what I am asking here is how come history knows of no tax and certainly no tax where all had to leave home and move around the empire to be taxed in that way for Luke to get Mary and Joseph down to Bethlehem? I won’t even ask if you knew Cyrenius, depending on how you spell it, was not Governor of Syria until ten years later than the events of Herod in Matthew. Seems like Luke may have not gotten the history right here.

Question. Pastor…Do you think it was responsible and necessary for Joseph, who I suppose had the property in Bethlehem, hey the house!, to take a very pregnant Mary on a hundred mile donkey ride through the wilderness of Judea? Was that necessary. And if he had a house there, why did they not live there to begin with. Well actually Matthew said they did, but in Luke it says no. I’m confused.

Question. Pastor…Why would all the Angels and Heavenly hosts go out and sing this “glory to God in the highest and peace on earth, goodwill to men,” to a few shepherds in the field. How about a bigger audience, like Jerusalem or at least the whole town of Bethlehem?

Question. Pastor…How come Luke says Mary kept all these wonderful things and pondered them in her heart, and yet in Mark, she and Jesus brothers come down to Jerusalem to take Jesus home as an adult because they thought he was insane? (Mark 3:21). Did Mary forget all the things that the Angels had said and all the miracles of Matthew and Luke at Jesus birth? And why was this one lone account in Mark edited out of Matthew and Luke. Was it embarassing? It seems Mary knew Jesus was special at least to age 12 (Luke 2:51) when he wandered and was found debating in the temple. Hey, and what’s with that? It even says his parents “sought him sorrowing,” so they were pretty afraid for him. Did Jesus not think to honor his parents with telling them he was at the temple and not to worry? Or did he just think they’d say “no you can’t go,” and he’d have to not obey them and break another commandment?
END PART TWO

Dear Ratzy,

I have a good solution to the clergy abuse scandal rocking your church.

Give them professional level sexual satisfaction for free.

It wouldn’t have to be a big deal, just hire a few monastic courtesans, skilled in the art of priestly fulfillment. You would only need one for every 20 or so priests, along with a nice little “confessional” complete with glory hole.

You could create a liturgy for the sessions and it could begin something like this:

“Release me Sister for I am tense. It has been four days since my last emanation.”

Sister Candi could then assign the proper penance.

I’ve even thought through the financial aspects of this.

The Great Cincinnati Archdiocese alone just paid a $120 million settlement to abuse victims. Since there are about 500 priests in the Cincinnati area, that works out to $240,000 per priest.

Ouch! Hope those relics do well at Christy’s.

My solution would be much more economical25 or so “servants” at $50,000 per year each would only take up $1.25 million per yearless than the interest on the $120 mil you just forked over.

Consider how much this would help the church.

I’m sure you will have some argue this is sin. Well, isn’t that why you invented the indulgence? You’ve got the power, use it! You’re the guy with the scepter.

Or you could try a second option:

JUST LET PRIESTS GET MARRIED.

The choice is yours, O Vicar of Christ.

Kevin Scott is the owner of http://www.WhoreChurch.com exposing the luncacy going on in the name of Christ. Visit now for a whole new perspective on your faith. You might get mad, but it will surely make you think.